It can be discouraging to caregivers to see the decline in a parent, especially if that parent does not always recognize an adult child or remember his name. However, most doctors agree that, even in the very last stages of Alzheimer’s, some core facets of the individual’s personality remain intact.
If you can see beyond the disease and your hurt, there are often still ways to connect with a parent, despite major cognitive impairment. Below are a few ideas for how to connect with your senior.
Listen to Music Together
If you and your mother went to symphonies or concerts together and enjoyed the same music, listening to recordings of the music you heard together can be a good way to connect.
If, on the other hand, you were a rocker, and dad was a mod, you can still deploy music. Go through his old albums or compact discs and find stuff to play. If mom or dad still has vinyl albums, it could be a great deal of fun to find a record player and spin some of the oldies. Alternately, talk to friends and family members about dad’s preferred music, and find it on Youtube or Pandora.
Look at Photographs Together
Many seniors have photograph albums. Paging through these slowly with your parent may trigger some memories. And you may be able to get your mother or father talking about the past. Many Alzheimer’s patients retain intact memories of their childhoods and early adulthood.
It’s also useful to share new photos of yourself, your grandchildren, and other family members. These photos can often be easily shared on an ipad or desktop computer. Putting faces together with names for your senior this way can help him retain the identities of his loved ones.
Touch and Hug Your Parent as Much as He Can Tolerate
Even patients in the last stages of Alzheimer’s can enjoy touch, especially from someone familiar and trusted. Hugging is the universal language, even for patients who have lost the ability to have a conversation.
If your parent responds well to being lovingly touched, you may want to consider finding a home health care specialist who can administer therapeutic touch. Such therapy has been found very comforting to some Alzheimer’s patients. Therapeutic touch is particularly effective at reducing the agitation that often accompanies Alzheimer’s disease.
Activate Scent Memories
Alzheimer’s experts tell us that, in the last stages of the disease, the patient experiences her world entirely through the senses: sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. Knowing this can help caregivers relate to parents who sometimes seem lost to their surroundings.
Activating scent memories might be as easy as wearing a perfume that your mother used to wear or cooking a dish that she taught you, especially if it is very fragrant. You can also apply a favorite scented lotion to her hands, feet, or in the course of a neck massage.
In conclusion, connecting to parents with Alzheimer’s can be challenging. Patients can often become agitated if they are confused or distracted. But, with patience, adult children can find ways to connect with their elders, even in the last stages of the disease. Don’t rule out home care services as a way to keep your loved one listening to music and enjoying photographs of family.
Sources: https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/late-stage
https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/care-options/in-home-care
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15712768/
https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/late-stage