Depression hits the elderly more than you’d think. Sadness that lasts weeks or months, a lack of interest in favorite activities, and physical pain are just some of the symptoms. One of the things people don’t think of is that depression in the elderly can make them feel worthless.
If you’ve heard your dad saying he doesn’t want to be a burden, he could be dealing with depression. It’s important to address depression openly. He may be ashamed, but he shouldn’t be. Depression is not something to hide or ignore. You can start helping him by doing things that make him feel valued.
Ask for His Advice
Your dad will appreciate being needed. Ask him for advice. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but it will help him feel needed. Ask him for advice on what herbs would be best to grow on the window sill. Ask him if a bird feeder would draw more birds on the back deck or front yard.
When he answers you, use his advice. Even if you don’t agree with it, make him feel valued by following his advice.
Have Him Help You or His Grandchildren
Get your dad involved in the things you do. If you’re cleaning the house, ask your dad to do something like mopping the floors you’ve just swept. Have him sort the laundry into colors before putting it in the washing machine.
If your kids still have homework, ask him to help them. He could also keep the kids busy while you do chores. Have your dad play a game with them or teach your children how to play an older card game like Cribbage or Gin Rummy.
Be Charitable Through a Favorite Hobby
Join your dad in charitable actions. Your dad could put his cooking skills to work making baked goods for school fundraisers. He could turn his passion for gardening into a way to fill shelves at his local food shelf. He could paint positive messages on rocks to hide around town. When others find them, they’ll have a moment of unexpected joy.
Make sure your dad has support when he’s home alone. If he doesn’t want to burden you, talk to him about senior care. Senior care providers can help him with socialization, household chores, and escort him to appointments. Senior care providers can also help him remember to take medications, go for walks, or get enough exercise.
Senior care is arranged so that it fits your dad’s needs and preferences. If he wants help once a week, that’s fine. If he’d rather have caregivers every day, that’s just as easy to arrange.